We were at the dinner table the other night and James was doing that thing he always does: putting an enormous amount of food onto his fork. He then put the enormous fork full of food into his mouth and he began to chew, bovine like. Ruby looked at me, then looked at him, then looked back at me and asked: “Is it doing it for you mum?” Ruby is 16. I have been married for 24 years. No crumbs were harmed during the making of this joke.